The Motivating Power of Fantasy

Years before I ever knew what the Law of Attraction was, when I was a child I used to dream of living in a castle. It would be in England, or France, the main part of my castle was my dream library tower/office. In my mind this was a circular room with a loft-style balcony office at the top. A small spiral staircase would lead up toward it and the walls would be stuffed with an enormous book collection, wheeled ladders would help me whizz through my extensively organised and indexed library so that I could look up whatever I needed, author, myth, scientific theory, for whatever writing project I was working on at the time.


Strange that as a child I dreamed so often of a workspace, but then I was absolutely obsessed with writing. I knew by the age of six that I wanted to write books. I was determined.

My fantasy office would often motivate me, and I was so often motivated to write my way through shitty situations. Living in a small town, going to an unkind primary school and even less kind high-school, I would write. A lot. I had written and attempted to shop two manuscripts by the age of seventeen. One got through to having the full manuscript read by a literary agent in New York. At seventeen! Like I said, I was determined. I was consumed. Writing was the thing that was always there for me. I was completely adamant that it would become my career. That passion for writing and literature sparked my love of academia and creativity, which got me into university because trust me, though I was a smart kid I did not apply myself to traditional schooling very well.


When I left home for university I lived in an apartment with a group of people far too different to me, we didn’t get along. So I wrote. I wrote another manuscript. I’m still editing that one today, aged twenty-three. Though that manifestation of effort didn’t result in a grand, multi-million dollar book deal with an international publisher like I fantasised in my wildest dreams, the experience of that writing however, and the paid freelance journalism that I took up to express myself in the way I found I couldn’t through my university work or campus, gave me the ticket to move states and universities. I then moved to Melbourne and attended RMIT University.

What fantasies can offer us is much like what Neil Gaiman said fiction can offer us – an escape, and in that escape tools to arm us for what we need in order to get through the real world and motivate us to hone our craft. Fantasies of the day where we can live in an apartment with a French bulldog, or castle in the wilderness, and make enough money to live off the thing that makes us happy, might seem self-indulgent or ‘wrong’, but these are the things that help us build our careers and find meaningful work and activities. 


Fantasies can motivate us so well. They can help us take an activity we love and show us paths that can mold that activity into something that works for us, for more than just a therapeutic benefit. Fantasies can be creative, risk-free exercises that allow us to experiment with our lives, and offer visuals of the pro’s and con’s of certain choices, and an idea of what we want to do with ourselves before we’ve quite figured it out for sure. 

Podcast Episode 3. Sex Work and Society


SEX WORK AND SOCIETY. In today’s podcast we discuss the nuances of sex work, sex trafficking and the place of sex work in society. We also delve into the NOLA Stripper Strike.


Katie Price:
Sex workers for the disabled:

The Scarlett Alliance:
The Eros Assosciation:

Podcast Ep.4 Sex Work and Pop Culture ft. Antonia Crane


SEX WORK AND POP CULTURE. The return of the podcast! Thank you all for being so patient while this podcast returns. This week I have a very special interivew with one of our foremothers, Antonia Crane, a powerhouse of a woman who has been in the adult industry for over twenty-six years, written a memoir and also works as a professor. We discuss sex wokrers ni the writer’s room and the social responsibility of film and television when showcasing sex workers as characters.


Antonia’s Instagram: @antoniacrane


Weight Gain and Working in the Adult Industry

‘Christ,’ I said turning to my boyfriend the morning after my third or fourth weekend as a stripper. ‘How does anyone manage to gain weight stripping?’ My thigh muscles were burning and I was already starving upon waking up. When I stood up to walk my legs shook.

‘I think you need some carbs and protein,’ he prescribed. We immediately took a trip to the supermarket to purchase some mushrooms and pasta.

I used to work at one of the most ‘instagram famous’ strip clubs in the world. I’ve written before about working in the adult industry, the business end, the great and trashy shoes, and the highs and lows of it all.

Before I became a dancer I was in the best shape of my life. I had quit my dumpster-diving lifestyle of being a crust-punk street rat, and traded it in for a 9-5 office job designing university degrees. I woke up at 5am every morning and I did yoga and pilates in my living room for 45 minutes, then I ate a chia seed pudding with Papaya before hopping on the train for my morning commute. I was an AU4-6 and I had the flattest stomach and tautest thighs I had ever seen protrude from below my hips. I loved the way I looked, this kind of workout and lifestyle is me to my core – I adore fitness when it comes from a mindful, educated manner. This was in 2016 – my food philosophy was on point, and every single leg circle, or downward dog, reinforced in a physical sense my life philosophy of loving the act of putting effort into something.

Fast forward to 2017 and I fell a bit off-track. I’m not too sure where the psychology of it began, I’m still trying to figure that out. I do know that my rent went up and my chronic hip pain became worse, and I ended up in a bit of a terrible cycle of not stretching because I was in too much pain, and then being in more pain, and not being able to stretch or in some cases even walk properly.


I made it through my first weekend of dancing with a wobbly ankle, and fell back into my bed with $1400 crumpled up in the sheets around me. I fell asleep with a smile on my face thinking that I’d figured it out! I’d figured out a way for me to pay my rent, eat, and not have to be in excruciating pain every day. I could write for me again if I was dancing. I could rest my wrists, and stretch my back, and only be in pain for two days out of the week. It seemed like the perfect trade-off.

Granted dancing did give me that. I still suffered pain, but not having to sit at a desk for hours typing proved to feel incredible. My shoulders relaxed and I took up compound lifts at my local gym to improve the stability in my hips. It also improved my ass – greatly.

Unfortunately when I worked I drank. I don’t really like drinking, but even a small amount of alcohol, mixed with sleepless nights is an easy set up for a poor self-care routine. I quickly gained roughly seven kilograms, moving from 45.6kg to 52. By the end of my time as a dancing I weighed around 57 kilograms and wore an AU8. I could still zip up my size 6 clothing, but it didn’t exactly look right.

Now, at a size eight I’m still small. I do have a tiny frame though, and I do prefer myself to look a bit fitter, but even just a few extra wobbly bits in a strip club filled with legitimates Instagram fitness babes with millions (no joke) of followers it was easy to feel enormous. It was like going to the Playboy Mansion every weekend. I’m not going to lie, I have legitimately called in ‘fat’ to work. Of course at the time I said I needed a self-care day, which wasn’t a lie.


I’ve never suffered an eating disorder, but I have often had a very unhealthy relationship with my weight. I was chubby for two years in high school, and then again for two years at university. When I left my old University for RMIT in 2012 I was the heaviest I had ever been, and it took roughly a year for me to go from an AU12 to an AU6.

My weight gain almost always follows the same pattern – or at least it did when I was a teenager/young adult. I would become depressed, and I would lose my sense of mindfulness and will to self care.  The reality is, self-care doesn’t mean being the fittest you can be: It means exactly what it sounds like, to care for yourself. As a human gentle exercise and trying to make healthy choices, physically, mentally and emotionally is a form of self care. Self care was not intended as a memo to buy the most expensive face mask on the planet.

You can still make an absolutely incredible amount of money at a strip club even when you personally think you’ve gained weight. It really depends on hustle. When you’re in a private room giving a dance, or doing a stage dance, and the customer loves it, you don’t think about how “fat” you feel. You think about the next move, you go with the flow, and you vibe with the client. However sometimes, when you’re on the floor it can creep up on you.

Some clubs employ a ‘fat watch’ policy, weigh dancers, bully them into getting surgery – all of which is used as a psychological tactic by club managers (who are notorious pieces of shit) to keep women beholden to their club or the industry. I’ve never understood the idea of breaking people down as a sales tactic – it has never worked on me. Except maybe by Instagram models to force me to pay a $70 per month gym membership (joking).

With all of this in mind it’s easy to see where a dancer can lose it when it comes to body image. There were many times I nearly did. My clientele changed with my body as well , it changed my hustle, it changed how I photographed, what lingerie suited me. I also, at twenty-fucking-four felt the first pangs of ageism. Even though there were women in the club who were much older, and making much more money than me because they were smarter and more confident with men.

The thing is, for me my body image is so ingrained into my whole being – going to the gym to make myself more conventionally attractive for men I didn’t care about, and a strip club manager who didn’t even know my name seemed so entirely useless. It didn’t feel right to me. I started to reduce my body image to something that other people saw.  I wanted to work out and eat better sure, but the very thought of creating change in my life for a group of male counterparts who – no matter how ‘good’ I looked according to white male standards – would still charge me to work, and put me on Fat Watch if I gained a pound, just didn’t fly with me.

My body started to feel out of alignment. This has less to do with  sex work, and more to do with not having a peer group within the industry to snap me out of the exact mentality that I’ve just written up. The way I treated my body  was derived from being sick to death of a club dictating my appearance in return for extremely poor treatment and bullying tactics. However, I was also failing to align the worship that occurred surrounding my body within the club from clients, and from myself and the other women around me. I found my struggle to stay mentally afloat as a dancer too difficult at that time. Clearly, this is why I’m sitting here on my couch on a Wednesday night typing this instead of hauling my ass onto a stage somewhere in lingerie worth half a months rent.

What followed my body feeling out of alignment was my entire hustle, my personality, even my work ethic falling out of alignment. In any image based industry, feeling that you’ve let yourself go, that you’re suddenly not deserving because you have allowed yourself to slip (especially as a self-confessed perfectionist) this far, created a massive block monetarily for me. My motivation was as shot as my waistline, of course this particular thought let me slip even further in that old chestnut of – ‘well I may as well get fat now!’  Despite having lost the weight a million times before.

I’m a total girly girl – I love heels, make-up, clothing. I always have. So it might come as a slight shock that I also have an extreme derision for the way societal pressures can enforce certain beauty standards, and the way looks can denote financial standing and status (I come from a working class background after all). In the club it’s how we make money: A nice, bespoke suit on a man in his forties usually means a typical interaction with a good client – he has money, he’s intelligent, he’s well read and socially apt enough to not treat you like total dirt. On the other hand, a suit on a twenty-one year old? Forget it, he spent all his cash on the suit so he could try to Pick Up Artist a baby stripper.

I can’t pinpoint every part of body image and the adult industry in one blog post. When it comes to women living in a patriarchal society, body image is a nuanced struggle, spurred and scorned by so many diet plans, Marie Windsor downloads, and fashion magazines. Add in the pressures of an appearance/confidence based job, and you’ve got a recipe for a whole lot of body dysmorphic tendencies and weird underlying issues on everything from self-doubt to guilt, to financial blocks and then some.

Sometimes knowing what your standard – your personal attainable standard – was for your body image, having felt the best and most fit you ever have and then attaching actual monetary worth to that can be horrific – because you might not be able to keep it up, and you don’t know what psychological impacts that storied attachment might have on you in the long term. In other cases, it can be incredibly empowering, making you feel on top of the world. Making you realise flat abs don’t matter. Every stage set still eleaves you feeling like you’re on a cocaine high, and in cases like mine it can cause financial blocks, or blocks in self-worth.

At the end of the day in a strip club it’s all about confidence, the weight gain or ageing you might experience can change your hustle, but the real thing that changes it is your mentality. You can feel more confident at a size twelve than you did at a six, if you truly feel more aligned in mind, body and soul. If what you’re doing makes you feel connected to yourself and your purpose. For me this wasn’t the case, my weight was too intrinsically linked to my feelings of self-worth. If I wasn’t the perfect ab-cracked, thigh-gapped, twerk-queen dancer – I wasn’t able to pull myself together. Of course I still made money, but it prevented me heavily from certain hustles, and feeling as though I shouldn’t try. This is of course a ridiculous mentality – because women don’t spend thousands on butt implants for no reason, and one-pieces can cover a stomach that has expanded with time. I was able to follow this latter mentality – pull my shit together and have some of the best nights of my life, but there was a serious connection I had found between my body image and my sense of self-worth – and of course that sense of self-worth trickled down into my finances and into my world outside the club.



Our Weak Ties | Using Weak Ties Theory

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It’s not always the people closest to you who will support your business ventures. That’s true, and often a little bit heartbreaking.

It’s not their fault. Family and friends often warn and discourage us from striking out on our own due to fear – fear of us failing, fear of our own sadness, fear of our disappointment. It hurts to see a loved one in upset. When our ideas don’t work, we can feel so much shame, anxiety and regret.

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About a year ago (before changing my name) I wrote an article for The Cusp  about how a more diverse friendship group can help us grow in our careers. At the time it was definitely a psychological unpacking – I was growing apart from old groups of friends, and finding more in common with the PHDs I worked with at my office job than the people I had been dumpster diving with for food (not kidding) as a uni student.

Part of the article discusses Meg Jay’s incredible Ted X Talk ‘Why Thirty is not the New Twenty’ and how new experiences often come from what are known as our ‘weak ties’.

In her talk Jay, author of The Defining Decade, urges young adults to experience new things, and reach new levels, by reaching out to those who are their weak ties. In my professional past I have utilized this advice in a sense – by reaching out to brands that liked my content, and editors, to create new work for myself as a blogger, and brand journalist.

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Most recently I struck out on my own, creating a clothing line aimed at both women in the adult industry, and our allies, a podcast and a Patreon account, to effect a business designed to reduce the stigma surrounding women in the adult industry, and help those of us in the industry to transmute the skills we learn into other areas of business and life. The first people to follow the Instagram, or pledge to the Patreon were not, in fact, my close friends, or my family – they were readers and viewers of my channel, Twitter followers and bloggers or women in the adult industry with large-scale followings that like my work without a personal preoccupation.

They were people I do not know personally, but people who had found my accounts through a mutual respect and enjoyment of each others work and creative direction. They were my weak ties.

According to Social Media Today, ‘These ties encourage sharing of information across different groups.’ Our weak ties can peak interest from their group to ours. Therefore a connection with one person in a particular demographic can prove invaluable to a job opportunity or business.

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In fact, my interest in the adult industry came from weak ties – women who I wasn’t great friends with, but who knew each other through mutual connections, and who opened my own eyes to the shades of grey within that industry. Showing me what it really was, and who the women in the industry truly are. My entering the industry came from a place of survival, once I was a part of the industry, the different issues faced by women of the industry according to their circumstances came from more weak ties, acquaintances, conversations in bathrooms and over Instagram DM. My recognising of my own privileges within the industry, based on these conversations, and the information many women did not have, also helped me find a niche for my social media channels – to create a space for information on business skills within the industry. Not all women in the adult industry need this information, but many do.

“Weak ties might bring you the crucial information about a new job opportunity, a new start up business or new connections into other areas of your peripheral business. Your relationship with your weak ties should be maintained and cultivated, knitting your networks together to encourage information free flow between the different parts of your networks. This information flow could be information you need to get ahead in your own work, or it might be recommendations and information about your skills and abilities to get you the job / contract / opportunity you’ve been looking for.”

Weak Ties can also keep us aware – aware about circumstances that don’t affect us, social constructs that we are not a part of, ideas that are outside of our grasp that are important to keeping an impartial view on different demographics and understanding the struggles people within our varied communities are facing. Often when conversations and shared stories move through different groups of people, ground can be broken to finesse a new idea into something tangible.

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Jay warns us that those who stay in the same groups don’t open themselves to new experiences, ways of learning, speech and more. One of the easiest ways to change your life is by reaching out to new people – and seeing what happens.

There is more than one psychological theory that expresses this phenomena – from six degrees of separation, to the butterfly effect – in their own way these theories, that can often feel more like myth or magic than science, express the reality that small changes have big impact. Movements that at first felt weak, possess undeniable strength.


How to Give Good Head

My hair has been through a lot. If you’ve watched my ‘hair style evolution’ video on Youtube you would know that. It’s been shaved, bleached, cut, dread-locked, heat styled. I’ve literally dyed it every colour of the rainbow (some more than once!). Thankfully I have quite tough hair, it’s fine but there’s a lot of of it. It tends to stand up to my torturous efforts  and midnight dye sessions (I blame my lunar Virgo).


For the past three months I have been following a pretty relaxed hair care routine, but there have been a few things that have really helped kick my hair back into good condition, and style it much better than I have in the past.


The Shampoo/Conditioner:

I only wash my hair three or four times a week, and I use the Loreal Pro Fibre Recreate shampoo and conditioner. I used to use the DeLorenzo Nova Fusion Silver Shampoo on the recommendation of a sales clerk. Unfortunately the Nova Fusion shampoo is unbelievably strong, and knots and roughens the hair follicles. After use it takes forever to brush out. It basically dreadlocks your hair and honestly, I’m very done with dreadlocks. So I switched back to a non-silver shampoo and decided to keep my blonde blonde with regular toning.

The Oil:

I’m obsessed with the Loreal Mythic Oil.  I finished my last bottle of it, so I do need to get more, but it’s incredible. I’ve used coconut oil, and Moroccan oil on my hair in the past, but coconut oil leaves it kind of stringy. The Mythic oil is something that I can brush through after styling (never before, lord knows I’ve fried the holy hell out of my hair doing that before!) to keep my ends from feeling crusty and breaking.


The Ultimate Styling Product for Slick Hair:

The LoReal Techni Art Dual Stylers Sleek and Swing blow drying balm is my top favourite product in this entire ensemble. I don’t know how it does it, but it smooths my hair out from the mid-line to the ends, minimising frizz and flyaways, and ensuring that my hair dries in neat sections. Each section feels buttery-soft, and can be parted away easily for styling. It’s the ultimate styling product for waves, curls, or before straightening, and is ideal for creating those edgy ‘blunt bob’ curls everyone is lusting after at the moment.

The Heat Protective Spray:

The Loreal Pro Fibre Re-Create spray looked really ominous to me when I first saw it. Because of my past as a dread-locked hippy, hair care items are still relatively new to me. I used plenty in high-school, but as a vagabond university student I think I lost my hairbrush along the way. This bottle didn’t actually say what it was for on the front. Luckily my hairdresser informed me that this was a heat protective spray that could also be used as a restorative solution. I usually spray some over my roots and ends before blasting it with a hairdryer. It smells really damn good, and more importantly it helps my ends not sizzle despite my obsession with my hair curling tong. It’s worth investing in a really good heat protective spray, because even I can tell the difference between this and my old $7.00 Schwarzkopf one.

Sometimes a little texture is what you’re looking for, enter the Loreal Wild Stylers. Sea Salt Sprays have always been a favourite of mine, even back in high-school and throughout all my terrible journeys through hair extensions, I used to be partial to the Toni and Guy version. However I love the way the Loreal Wild Stylers keep my curls, even without hairspray. Ideal for recreating your summer mermaid waves.

The Truth Behind Failure: How to Focus


Shirt: My Store, Blazer: Lee Denim, Jeans: Revolve, Boots: Boohoo

Focus can be difficult to maintain. Particularly for the creative types who, like myself, fit into the jack-of-all trades, master of none category. Sometimes we go off track when it comes to focus: whether it’s a business, job, blog, or workout plan. We’ve all had those experiences where we kind of lose it. Sometimes it’s for a few days, sometimes for months on end. We find ourselves back where we began, it’s frustrating – like Sisyphus pushing that fucking rock up that fucking mountain.
There are reasons we go off track when manifesting our desires (by the way, for me manifestation means focus and concrete steps.)

Shirt: My Store, Blazer: Lee Denim, Jeans: Revolve, Boots: Boohoo

The first issue we need to overcome is obviously distraction and desperation – like me right now, I’m currently in the process of creating a clothing company .  I want my focus to be on that and my YouTube and Patreon so they can grow into the business I want to create for change. But money is tight and even though I am making ends meet, and I have my beautiful patrons – it’s not the money I’m used to from working full time and dancing. I get down, distracted and I start looking for other jobs rather than promoting my company more, and reaching out to more people to help it grow.

Shirt: My Store, Blazer: Lee Denim, Jeans: Revolve, Boots: Boohoo

How to combat it: For me, the best way to combat distraction is to get focused. Instead of just thinking about what you want, what the future plan is – write it down. Write down a vision and a business plan draft, work out what you need and who you need to contact and do it. Write a PR list, or contact people for a mailing list to keep everyone updated about what you’re doing. Research the steps you need to take and knock one out, or write a to-do list. It brings your focus back to the long game. Reach out even if you feel like it’s a long shot. There are so many incredibly supportive people out there willing to help. Understand that as a person starting a business you do have something to offer. You’re a brand, you have a website, you’re a company director and no matter how subjectively successful your work is, you can still provide something to others – opportunities for them to expand that can in turn help you.
I listen to a lot of Abraham Hicks, if you know anything about the Hicks philosophy one of the teachings of Esther is to focus on abundance and not lack. To focus on Abundance we focus on what we want – not what we don’t have, or don’t want. Therefore to actively change my distracted focus of looking for another job I should change my focus from, ‘I’m so broke’ to, ‘I want to create a company that empowers women socially and financially, I want to research this and make it the best thing possible’ – and to spend all my spare hours,  after I’ve reached my expenses quota, working on this. I want it to expand and become incredible.

Shirt: My Store, Blazer: Lee Denim, Jeans: Revolve, Boots: Boohoo

The second issue might be that it’s taking longer than we thought, leading us to increasingly become more desperate.
The solution: Try a different approach: If you need to be more methodical, become so. There’s so much freedom in throwing things at the wall in a creative manner, but it’s not always worthwhile if you’re trying to live off your creation. A friend of mine created a Youtube channel years ago that had no direction. She wasn’t passionate about the subject matter, so she just made whatever videos came to mind. She later disbanded it because she felt like it was worthless – but it led her to create a new one late last year. She began a shared travel channel that focused on teaching international students about Australia – the niche category blew up and was shared throughout many international students Facebook groups. In three months they have gained over 2000 subscribers and even though the company is small, they’ve methodically researched and listened to their subscriber base to produce high-quality videos designed to teach prospective international students how to apply for visas, write resumes, and find places to live in Australia while they study. Her previous efforts showed her how to produce videos so their company didn’t have to learn that in the beginning. They’ve even hired an intern!

Shirt: My Store, Blazer: Lee Denim, Jeans: Revolve, Boots: Boohoo

The third issue: We’re viewing ‘failure’ wrong, and not bouncing back from it.
How to fix it: Develop a growth mindset. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve thought “I’ve failed at my goals” when in reality they’re just taking longer to come to fruition. I adapted a ‘growth’ mindset in 2016 after reading Carol S Dweck’s book on the topic and it has changed my entire outlook on life. I’ve always been moderately good with rejection – I started shopping manuscripts at the age of 16 to literary agents, and each rejection always excited me: To me the rejection meant they had read my work. My first half manuscript was read by Catherine Drayton – the same woman who represented The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak – to me, at sixteen, that felt like a massive win. She didn’t decide to represent my manuscript, but it taught me that I had the chops to write professionally – from there it was only a matter of writing something I wanted to put out into the world, and making sure it was good enough for a literary agent to want to represent. Every ‘failure’ is a lesson – it’s a note to move forward with our approach, our education, to try the next method.  I am beginning to place everything I’ve learned together into a habitual formula that works for me.
You have to bounce back from failure as quickly as you can in order to maintain focus, otherwise you’ll keep flipping from one project to the next. It’s fine to quit, but it’s important to focus on something, and educate yourself in the field so you work out exactly how you can best achieve what you want. First drafts are always shit. That’s the rule of writing, and of most projects and businesses. You often need to return to the drawing board to isolate the issues and solve them.

Shirt: My Store, Blazer: Lee Denim, Jeans: Revolve, Boots: Boohoo



Personal Style, and Other Stories:


Personal style tells a story, who you are, who you want to be, where you’ve come from

Style can dictate control, the level of control we feel we have over our lives and the places we are going, the things we are feeling. It’s about our mood, and more importantly, it’s about what we feel we deserve in life. So often we can let feelings of unworthiness dictate who we think we are, and what we believe ourselves to be worthy of, in love,  work and other facets of our lives.

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“It’s not surprising that style is incredibly personal: it’s direct expression of your personality or mood. There are some who have a certain signature style, which goes beyond wearing the same item repeatedly.” – Vogue

When I was going through an intense depressive episode in my early twenties I would wake up and barely get dressed – I’d keep my pajama shirt on, I would never do my hair or make-up,  and I’d exclusively wear track pants. It was to the point that when I did get dressed to go to uni, if people who knew me saw me they were always shocked. At some points I basically forgot how to dress myself, which is a very strange thing for someone who grew up adoring clothes, fashion and aesthetics. It was a true testament to how far away from my true self I felt at the time.


Psychology and how we hold ourselves also tells a story: We can so often tell things about a person by their physical characteristics, a rougher accent can mean having grown up in a rougher area, clothing from certain labels might denote a certain income bracket, a slump in the shoulders or a quieter voice can mean a lack of self-confidence. We fold our historical fabrics about ourselves each morning before we pick from the closet, or store, and in truth – what we pick from the closet can denote, or change that story.


Fashion and beauty take inspiration from various social and cultural demographics, and evolve over time as these are integrated in different ways across the world. Runway trends and subsequent commentary can be a powerful snapshot of the direction the human psyche is moving, as can the things we pull from our own wardrobes every day.

Some people deny the power of beauty and fashion, but there is power in something that can help us heighten or lower our sense of self worth, the story of us, the story the world begins to read as they prise apart each interaction with us. When we judge based on first impressions, we are accepting the Venus-driven power of beauty into our lives – so who are we to also turn around and deny the same thing? Decry that it is vapid and worthless when so much of the human agenda, from art to religion, to philosophy, architecture and our love of natural exploration – is beauty-driven?

Introducing Patreon.

I’ve been extremely busy since I left the adult industry. I’ve been designing clothes, making Youtube videos, interviewing other sex workers, and working in consultancy again.

Some of you may have found this blog, or my subsequent Youtube channel by way of googling things like, ‘stripper shoes’ or, ‘how do strippers pay tax?’ evidently you decided that my videos were probably a more relevant framework for you to sort out your finances than a Yahoo Answer from 2002. For that, I want to say thank you: Since I have started focusing on the niche of sex worker finances and creating content that helps women in the adult industry become more financially literate, I have found a purpose for my  weirdly dynamic professional background in building business degrees, journalism, sex work and research.

As a result of this, I’ve begun building a Patreon. This Patreon acts as a monthly magazine for sex workers, with different payment tiers depending on the information you would like to access. For as little as $1 you can access my untold stories from the strip club, for $5 per month you can access a monthly financial article tailored toward sex workers of all types. For $20 per month you can access a monthly ‘magazine’ that discusses the goings on in the adult industry, from protests to achievements, sex work in the news and changes we’re advocating for. I am also working on creating tiers that will operate as fully developed short courses to help sex workers transmute the business skills they learn in the club into other areas, self-actualisation and freelance businesses.

I love creating this content, and I would love to keep creating it for free – I would. Unfortunately these articles and videos take days of research, scripting, editing and other methods of construction to bring to you. Patreon is a way for me to justify myself continuing to create this content alongside my free content, and alongside my regular consultancy work.

Bringing out content that helps empower women, financially and in other arenas, is one of my biggest passions in life. I would love for you to support me on Patreon, or by purchasing from my clothing line, so that I can turn this into a full-time gig.

At some point I hope my business is doing well enough that I can open this magazine on an entirely free basis, but for now Patreon is where the information will be posted and I would love for you to see what I’ve been working on! If you’d like to pledge you can find my patreon here.



_MG_9986 (2)Last year I participated as a model in the LoReal Colour Trophy – a international styling competition for hairdressers across the world. My hairstylist Jason (@jasonbirchhair) and I worked together to create a look that was designed for consumers, to be chic with a fade of colour and an easy-to-wear cut. Jason made it to the Australian finals which meant that our photo was recently featured in the March 2018 issue of Marie Claire Australia.

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Inspired by the beautiful textures and colours printed in the magazine, I decided to round up a few of the hair trends beauty editors are raving over for 2018. This year cuts and colour are focused on the consumer. Stark blondes can be worn in a careless, boho manner when teamed up with an ashy root stretch, and faded rainbow-hued highlights.

“2018 is going to be all about embracing natural, no-fuss textures with fresh, interesting haircuts. It’s going to be the year of the unabashedly un-done and effortlessly stylish. Low maintenance short cuts, easy bangs, and enhanced textures are the name of the game; but we’re seeing long, relaxed styles and middle parts make a comeback, as well.” – Southern Living Magazine

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” There were the radical, double-take–catalyzing model colors and cuts, from Miu Miu’s flight of shocking redheads to Givenchy’s freshly shorn boyish crops.” – Vogue’s take on the Catwalk trends from Paris Fashion Week.

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One of my favourite things about trends is how they tell a story: Like Rothko’s ‘Untitled (Red)’ colours fade into one another, as do cuts, styles, and historical references. The visual mediums explain a nuanced direction of inspiration, funneled by creatives into something new. Hair trends in 2018 have referenced recent design trends – the rise and fall of bright reds and millennial pink, the growth of the online fashion industry spilling over into haute couture with undone effortless chic. Seasonal trends and micro trends place a visual notation on where the world looked at the time of induction, and echo the mood different sectors of society found themselves voicing.

I’ve included a little list of some of the items I have used since to recreate our finalist look at home.